Taking your partner out of their comfort zone is one of the practices that makes bondage sex so exciting, for both parties. When your partner surrenders to you, and for instance, is tied spread-eagle on the bed, they're unable to resist being teased, stoked and pleasured beyond their normal limits, and have no choice but to submit and enjoy the ride! And you, the dominant, can enjoy not only the process of restraining your partner (which always gets me really hard...), but also share the thrills of their mind-blowing orgasms! And of course, your own. I've heard it said that sex is the only game where finishing second is winning.
Now here's the thing. Comfort-zone stepping is an incremental process. You might imagine using ropes, gags, blindfolds and vibrators the first time you tie her up, but in reality, you want your partner to feel safe, and be comfortable enough to really enjoy herself. So when you do take her outside of her comfort zone, you'll find that a little bit of kink goes a long way. But keep in mind that comfort zones expand, and what was once unthinkable will soon become the new normal. Let me explain.
Bianca (I like to call her that . . and she calls me Sean . .) likes to be tied spread-eagle, and I'm very much in favor of that! For quite some time though, she wouldn't let me tie her legs very far apart, because it made her anxious and a little bit scared. She also didn't want her arms stretched too tightly to the sides for the same reasons. Of course, I respected her wishes - this is a consensual game - and only pushed her comfort zone a little bit each time, and stopped whenever she wanted. If she said, "too tight", I backed off. Flash forward, and now she lets me spread her legs very far apart indeed, and secure her arms tightly to the sides, and she enjoys every minute! You know that old saying, "patience is a virtue"? It's true!
You want to, and need to, gain her trust. Take your time pushing the limits, honor her wishes, and make sure she always feels safe. When she knows you're trustworthy in that regard, she'll be more willing to try new things with you, and your bondage games can then progress to new heights, and unimagined pleasures. Play hard, play nice!
Sean
