Thursday, October 18, 2012

SURRENDER . . . a Bianca guest post



sexy bondage 



I trust my husband to care for me with concern, gentleness, roughness, heart and soul, in the most intimate of ways.  But it wasn’t always that way; let me explain.  

In my professional life, I was known as a ball buster, a powerhouse, a dynamic woman.  Yet, in the bedroom I enjoyed being alluring, like wearing sexy lingerie.  With this man, though, these outfits seemed to bring out the beast in him.  I asked myself, what was happening here? 

Early in our relationship my husband made it clear how much he enjoyed bondage sex.  One night, he even spontaneously tied my wrists, using my own belt - and I found it incredibly thrilling…!  But then I was shocked, even offended, by photos he showed me of women in bondage scenes, scenes that he wanted to enact with me.  My reactions made him reluctant to broach the subject, although he did, and we’ve continued to discuss the idea of bondage sex over the 27 years we’ve been together.  In the beginning, for a special occasion, I was sometimes even okay with having my wrists bound with a scarf, because I truly wanted to be the star of his show and fulfill his desires, uncomfortable as it might be for me.  It wasn't easy; I was frightened that he intended to immobilize me, or gag me, or “punish me” (for what…?).  My mind raced with thoughts of Salem witch burnings and rapes, and I just couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that this wonderful, clever, sensitive and creative man would want to tie me up.  Admittedly, though, despite my reluctance to surrender, I found that being tied up was kind of thrilling, although I would say it was mostly because of how much he enjoyed it.  When I yielded a bit, we even went to a sex shop together, where we bought leather cuffs, a whip, and a riding crop.  We continued to have the occasional bondage night; for his benefit only, of course.  Until recently.

Deeply surrendering to bondage requires supreme trust in your partner, and surrendering to love allows for building that trust.  My husband would always say, “Let me tie you this way or that, and I promise it will heighten your pleasure”…and it most always did…!  And yet, I wouldn’t fully surrender to the overwhelming pleasures that he’d crafted for me.  I’m a lover of love, and as I embraced surrendering to my love for my husband, I began trusting him and his bondage fantasies.  He says, “Trust me and I’ll continue transporting you to new, heaven-on-earth, mind-blowing experiences of sexuality and sensuality; now allow me to restrain you this way…”, and he has delivered on that  promise, many, many times over…!  As I began to trust him – to choose love over fear - I could see that the more fully I surrendered to him, the greater the reward, in the deepening of our love, reaching new levels of richness.  And so, after years of saying no, I finally said, “YES, DO ME…!  I’ll try anything, do me any way your heart desires…!“  This is a major shift for me, much to his delight.

We work from adjacent offices, co-creating different projects together, and while I might be the boss there, in the bedroom my husband rules…!   Most times, he gathers an array of goodies to support my writhing in pursuit of the most bombastic screaming climax to date; he’ll unwind the bed straps, and lay out a blindfold, more rope, and maybe a vibrator.  And the sex toy cabinet is right next to the bed in case he needs anything else.  Of course, we still have “vanilla” sex sometimes, although lately that’s reserved mostly for quickies, because when there’s time, our bondage sex is so incredibly hotter.

I turned 65 this year and my body is fuller, and not supple and flexible, like it was when we first met, yet my husband loves every curve, every crevice, and every inch of me.  Especially now, because with my new-found freedom in the delicious pursuit of pleasure, I’m willing to be bound in new positions, add a vibrator, or be gagged and spanked – and he knows I’ll love every minute!  We’ve even made our bed a bondage heaven by adding restraint straps and cuffs, which are hidden, but ready at a spontaneous moment’s notice; it’s always titillating, just knowing they’re right there!

Recently, I’ve had some pain in my legs and shoulders. To my surprise, yesterday I thought, “Hmmm, surrendering to pleasure…what a perfect way to forget this pain…sexual healing.  Wonder what he’ll have in store for me today if I really let go…?” So I put on our favorite tomato-red, open-crotch, fishnet body stocking, and a matching thong, and called his name.  Sure enough, he took one look and said, “Come with me, I have to have you right now…”.  “You never have to ask me twice…”, I said, and as we headed for the bedroom, I could tell by his look that I was in for some top-rated pleasure!

I know his commitment is to take me to a new threshold of pleasure each time he creates one of his bondage masterpieces - with me as the centerfold - and this time was special; I felt so available, so much more willing and ready to surrender and submit to his suggestions.  He took his time restraining me, he used a vibrator on me, he lingered, he ceased, he teased me, and my body responded with ease, yummy sounds and delicious movements.  I was a fine orchestra and he was the conductor who knew just how to play me.  Over and over again, I kept surrendering to pleasure, and finally, the waves of my climax exceeded anything I’d ever felt before and I went on…and on…and on, in throbbing ecstasy. Thunderous.  And then…he clipped both my wrist cuffs to one of the bed straps, and turned me on my side…

Those pains I’d been feeling?  Gone!  I’d surrendered to love, to my husband, and to sexy bondage, and it was very, very good.  I’m trading the vanilla status quo for the wild, wild west! 

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